One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
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did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
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I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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