Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
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