Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
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