you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize