Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
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