well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize