He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
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I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
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I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
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