my being single is dangerous.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
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I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
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I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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