I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
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