I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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