hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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