So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
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Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
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I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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