there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
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