You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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