I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Im part way to drunk.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
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