worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
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I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
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Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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