I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize