How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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