you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I am naked and annoyed.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
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