so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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