Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize