Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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