The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize