before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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