It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
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