I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
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