I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Just invented taco cereal.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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