think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Screwed.edu
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Randomize