It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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