dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
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