just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
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