Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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