I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize