Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
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