**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
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I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
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