Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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