i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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