i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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