just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize