I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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