we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
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just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
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Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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