Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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