apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize