Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize