i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
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Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
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The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
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