would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
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