I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
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