If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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