Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize