I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
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so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize