My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize